About Me:
Tea-Drinking Monkey seeks mate for fruit salads, tea-parties and banter.
If you can keep your head, while all around you are losing theirs, perhaps you should land your helicopter somewhere less crowded. Alright so that little proverb has as yet been useless to me in everyday situations. Maybe it'd help if I had a Helicopter, or could fly one...still I live in hope. Actually that's not true as I live in Manchester but it doesn't scan anywhere near as well.
Hmm still reading eh? Good for you. I suppose it'd be appropriate to introduce myself at this point instead of rambling like Hugh Grant. So Hello! I'm Neil but most of my friends call me Monkey. Which as nicknames go isn't so bad, I keep on pushing God or Genius, but no dice.
So, nowadays I appear to have devoted myself to becoming a man of Letters, albeit one who misunderstood the term. You see I am a Postman by day and a Writer by night - although technically I sleep at night but "a Writer by Day as well" doesn't sound as good - so if I'm not delivering one kind of letter, I'm herding the other with aid of my letter-pen-sheepdog-pen?Like a Letter Shepherd?! *note to self, check with peers about validity of Letter wrangling.
Well it appears this profile has deviated very slightly from my original plan but like a steward putting a wet-floor sign out on the Titanic, I'm sure I can turn things round. I think as a person I'm fairly easy-going - except on buses. I know my way around a kitchen, am acquainted with the ironing board - although we did have a tiff - and can almost always use a drill without pretending it's a gun. I like to think I can hold a conversation, love all things science and historical, like a pun and tend to look at the world with my head on one side and an inquisitive smile on my face.
I'd like to hear from a creative person with a passion for something, a tale to tell or that wears sarcasm like a big hat...yes Neil, because that "really" makes sense. Happy to chat to anyone, drop by and talk about cake. If not, happy hunting. Stay Special!
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My idea of a fun date:
I'm useless on first dates, no, no, hear me out...I am. You see, you try not to, but you inevitably fall into the chatter about dreams, aspirations, hobbies, work and holidays...and it becomes like a strange unromantic game of snap. "Oooooh breathing?! Yeah totally, I love breathing I does! See we're dead similar us, aren't we?"
Yet, apparently climbing over the ruins of a castle, laying your hands on the stones of history and quoting Monty Python - "...one day son, all this will be yours." "What the curtains...?" - apparently, that's not the done thing, yet one would put a smile on the right person's face, the other bore everyone into adulthood. And let's be honest who wants to do that?
So in an ideal world, I'd spend a first date in a Museum or country house, walking the walls in Chester or at the zoo - oooh I love the zoo. Of course there would be chatter and laughter and occasional shennanigans, but also Monkeys. And monkeys are important. Of course in reality, I know that'd have to wait until you've convinced yourself I'm not a buffoon or crazy...actually that might take some time. Hee hee.
Tell me your ideal first date?
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